At the recommendation of Shaun Achor, author of the fabulous book The Happiness Advantage (which we gave to our entire team), I’ve been working on my 21-day, 21-person Thank You list (more on that in a later #WProsper post).
But in the course of that exercise, I wrote this post on Investing in Friendships for Post Status, and I started thinking, What makes a friend a true friend?
Just looking over my Thank You list gave me plenty of inspiration. And so I started writing those down and here are the characteristics I gave them (and why I cherish them in my life):
- Love, like the unconditional, universal kind.
- Caring, always there ready to lend a shoulder to cry or be carried on.
- Support, the affirmation and security of knowing no matter what happens or you do, they are there to support you.
- Encouragement, my best friendships and relationships are the most encouraging and uplifting kind, at all times, no matter how hair-brained my ideas are.
- Consistency, they just show up and are present throughout my life, no matter the situation, but especially in bad and my worst times.
- Unselfish and selfless, they just wanted my best … and most often only want my friendship and time, love and support.
- Trust, absolute confidence, I know if I share something with them, they are.
- Truth, they aren’t liars, but rather give me honest, loving feedback, never seeking to mislead me.
- Non-judgmental/Acceptance, they aren’t my judge and jury, but rather my defenders and allies.
But all in all, for me:
A true friend simply offers unwavering love and support.
Additionally, I also found a great post on healthy relationships …
The 8 keys he gives are:
- Taking interest
- Acceptance and respect
- Benefit of the doubt
- Meeting basic needs (companionship/belonging, affection, emotional support & validation)
- Proportion of positive interactions
- Solve problems
- Rupture & repair
- Reciprocity
Those are so good. And if you reflect on your BEST relationships I imagine you’ll see these too.
I know the quality of my life and happiness is directly proportionate to the quality of healthy relationships I have.
With great, healthy relationships like these, I am more confident in who I am … and as a consequence, more successful.
Thinking about these characteristics of true friends help me find more of them!
How about you? Who are your most important friendships and why?
Founder of iThemes.com
